I’m Leaving Because I’m Fucking Tired Of Your Half-Assed Love

You don’t get to choose whether you hurt me or not. You don’t get to choose to say how your love is supposed to make me feel. Because there wasn’t that much of a love to feel anyway.

And that’s something you never seemed to understand — that love is not about making someone feel like they are the last resort.

Love is not about making someone feel like they’re not even one of the options, while everything they want to be is the only choice.

You see, you don’t get to choose how strong your love is. Because you showed me none of it.

And now that I’m walking away, you want me to stay.

You’re promising me suns and stars, a love so crazy that will make me feel like I’m flying, without even realizing that your ‘love’ was drowning me in my own tears.

You’re promising me a lifelong love but you couldn’t even last ten months. Your love wore off like a cheap perfume on a hot summer’s day. It simply vanished and soon enough, habit replaced it.

And you still tried to make me believe that what we had was love, that this was it. That this was what true love looked like.

But love is not supposed to make me feel less worthy. Love is not supposed to leave me wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

Why don’t you love me the way you used to? The way you promised you would?

And now that I have had enough, you’re making another promise you can’t keep.

You know you can’t. You know you’re incapable of truly committing to someone. You know you’re incapable of loving anyone as much as you love yourself.

And I’m done with this half-assed love. Because you and me both know that I deserve more . You know that I deserve so much more than this label-less shit you’re putting me through.

Always saying how you hate labels but without even realizing that you already did it — you made us that couple .

That couple who had a great start but it wore off so quickly. Shame. That couple who had great chemistry but it disappeared. Shame.

That couple who had a great future ahead but got stuck in the past. Shame. That couple. Always that couple.

And I don’t want to be part of ‘ that couple’ anymore.

And now that my strength has worn off, you’re trying to undermine my walls.

I let you in once and, trust me, that’s not a mistake I’m going to make ever again. I decided to trust you, only to have my trust played.

I decided to lower my walls, only for you to leave my heart in ruins. I decided to give all of me to you, to receive nothing but pain in return.

And you were still too blind to notice all these walls coming back up. You were too blind to see that I was drifting away, and you were the wind that was pushing me.

Your actions, your half-assed love, you. Not me. Not my fears. You.

And now that I’m leaving, you want to pull me back.

Now that I finally see my way out of this hell, you’re trying to lure me back in. Now that I have finally found my blessing, you’re offering me your curse once more. But I can’t keep on hoping you’ll change.

I can’t keep on living in a hell you’re calling love. Because I have had enough of wondering every single morning if you will call me back.

I have had enough of falling asleep alone every goddamn night. I have had enough of constantly wondering if I’m enough .

If I’m the reason for your distance. If I’m the reason you’re so cold. I deserve more than this. I deserve to wake up to a ‘good morning’ message.

I deserve to fall asleep knowing I’m falling asleep next to you. I deserve never to wonder how I could ever think I was not enough.

And let’s face it, you’re incapable of giving me any of those.

So, farewell darling, I have finally had enough of being your last resort. It’s time I became someone’s priority.