Dealing with breakup

Read This If You’ve Been Cheated On


Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings there is. It is not just about the fact that your heart’s been broken—it also has a lot to do with the feelings of humiliation and betrayal.

If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know exactly what I am talking about. You feel an enormous amount of emotional pain because this man has consciously chosen some other woman over you.

You know that he willingly chose to betray you and that means he actually never cared about your feelings. He didn’t care if he hurt you and how his actions would make you feel because if he did, he wouldn’t do the things he did to you.

You keep asking yourself why you weren’t enough for him. Why did he have to search for other women, besides you? Was there anything you could have done to prevent him cheating on you?

Then, you blame yourself for everything. You feel guilty for not noticing the signs earlier; you can’t believe how blind you were not to see something that was happening right in front of you.

This was the man you could trust your life with, your life companion whom you should’ve known the best. But, yet, you didn’t notice anything.

You let him play you for a fool and this is exactly how you feel about yourself now.

You are consumed by different types of emotions for this guy. There are days when you miss him and wish things to go back the way they were. And then, there are days when you hate his guts.

You hate him for ruining everything you’ve built for so long, you hate him for not being a man enough to tell you how things really are and most of all, you hate him for making you feel this way.

You hate him for living his life as if nothing has happened, while he left you alone to deal with this despair.

And you don’t want to hate him. You don’t want to love him either. You just want to become indifferent towards him. You want to stop thinking of him.

But, you can’t seem to make that happen. You’ve become chronically unhappy. You’ve started looking at life negatively. You’ve become bitter and pessimistic.

You feel like you can’t trust anyone because the man you trusted the most has betrayed you. What is there to expect from someone you have just met?

I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Millions of women around the world have been through the same things you are going through right now. And they’ve all survived. And so will you.

I am here to tell you that you didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t blame yourself for everything that has happened because none of it was your fault. Cheating is obviously in this guy’s blood.

You probably asked yourself if you could’ve been a better girlfriend but trust me—nothing you did would have made a difference. Even if there was something about you that was bothering this guy, he should have been man enough to tell you that in person.

If he thought he couldn’t handle you or if he fell out of love with you, he should have been direct about it and leave you. Yes, that would also have been painful, but it would have certainly hurt less than knowing you’ve been cheated on.

But mostly, I am here to tell you that it gets better, although you don’t believe me now.

There will come a day when all of this pain will go away. I don’t know when it will be, but it will happen before you know it.

There will come a day when you’ll understand that this man cheating on you was something that had to happen.

He was a tough lesson for you, but he was a lesson worth learning. Trust me—you’ll be grateful because you had to chance to see this man’s true colors in time.

And there will come a time when you’ll believe in love once again. There will come a moment when you’ll realize that not all men are the same.

That there is a man who will be worthy of your trust and love.

And that man will come. He will make sure you know that he’d never cheat on you because he will respect you more than that. This man will show you that you are always more than enough and he will make you feel like you are the only woman in the world.

This man will never do anything that might humiliate you because he will appreciate you more than that. He will be patient with you and he will help you heal all the wounds from the past.


Category: Dealing with breakup

Roberta Carroll

My approach is eclectic and holistic with a focus on mindfulness. I have received certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy (trauma), among others. I spent over 10 years at the Veteran’s Administration in Louisville, KY, working as a psychotherapist with veterans of all ages and genders on a wide variety of issues. Prior to that my focus was on young adults and their families and older adults dealing with loss. Individuals have met with me for help to address depression and anxiety, grief, trauma and relational issues as well as work-related/everyday stressors. The therapeutic process provides a safe place for the client, in collaboration with their therapist, to process distress, discover areas of “stuckness” and move forward into a life of increased meaning and joy. Accepting our imperfections and practicing self-compassion can be a difficult as well as rewarding process. I have lived and worked in different areas of the country, have come to understand how regional differences affect our outlooks and appreciate the contrasts. I have relished the opportunity to assist clients as they carry the burdens of life. It would be my privilege to hear your story.

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