How to get him back

10 Ways How To Get Him Back (Without Looking Desperate)


Wondering how to get him back without looking desperate or too pushy?

Don’t worry, here are some tips and tricks that will help you accomplish this!

If you’re trying to get your ex back, you have to be very careful and smart while working on your plan.

Because when your pride gets hurt and when you want someone back so badly, it’s not unheard of to become a bit desperate, because you want it so much.

You’re not thinking clearly because you’ve been hurt and you definitely haven’t gotten over him yet, you still love him.

And when love is involved, none of us think straight. We are able to do all kinds of crazy things which we are not even aware of.

But let’s say that there is another way to get him back, without looking desperate or needy.

If you go in the needy direction to make your plan come true, you’re only going to make things worse. When he sees that crazy and needy side of you, he’ll be glad that he broke up with you.

And we don’t want that. We want him to realize that he made the biggest mistake of his life, which he probably did but anyway…


1. Don’t disagree with him about the end of your relationship

woman leaning on her hand and looking at man in cafe

Listen to what he’s got to say about why he broke up with you and don’t argue with him. It’s so much better to accept the truth.

Take some time to think things through and absorb what he said and accept it. You can talk to him again later.

Show him that you are a mature adult and that you accept if you did something wrong.

If you really did, apologize to him, and if you didn’t, talk to him normally without screaming and arguing but don’t try to change his mind.

If he sees how maturely you’re handling the whole situation, he might just change his mind after all.

2. Don’t beg him to come back

cute woman sitting in cafe and looking out

This is just desperate and as I said, you don’t want to be desperate.

You are a woman who is worthy of a man who will treat her like she deserves.

So don’t ever beg him to get back with you. It will make you look needy and you will only confirm his decision is the right one.

Men like women who feel good about themselves and show it. It is something that makes you hot. Confidence turns them on.

So, if you want to lure him back in, show him that you are okay and happy about yourself, no matter what.

3. Admit that you are also responsible for your break-up

lonely woman in park

Never blame everything on him. Think about your relationship and even though it resulted in him breaking up with you, take your part of the blame, too.

Maybe something you did made him break up with you. Admit to yourself that you are not perfect and there is always more room to grow and find a way to be more mature.

If you also take the blame, he’ll see that you are reasonable and maybe he’ll give you another shot because you showed him that something has changed, unlike in the past.

4. No contact rule

thoughtful woman lying on bed and typing on her phone

While the wound is still fresh, you have to play by the ‘no contact’ rule if you want a positive outcome later.

Also, when you just break up, you are angry and there is the possibility that you might say something to him that you will regret later on, something that you didn’t mean but anger made you say it. You mustn’t call or text him for at least four weeks.

Avoid hanging out with your mutual friends because you’ll probably run into him and don’t pretend you don’t know where he goes and then accidentally run into him on the street.

If you manage to avoid these things and give him some space, when you do text or call him he may be glad to hear from you and he may realize that what he did was make a mistake.

5. There is no room for jealousy

woman typing on her phone sitting outside

I know this is easier said than done, because let’s face it, it’s not easy to see your ex dating another woman shortly after you broke up.

Maybe when you see him with someone new you’ll think that there is no way you’ll ever get him back. But that doesn’t have to necessarily be true.

Usually, a relationship that happens right after another relationship is a rebound, which is not serious. They serve just so you can forget and let loose.

And while he’s at it, he’ll realize while being in another woman’s arms how much he misses being around you. And if you act jealous, you will only drive him far away from you.

6. Let him contact you

young woman typing on her phone while frowning

You’ve typed the text and you’ve read it a hundred times to make sure it’s perfect and you still don’t know whether it’s a good idea to send it to him or not.

Well, don’t send it because it’s definitely a mistake. If you keep contacting him, you won’t give him a chance to miss you.

When you’re feeling down or in a crisis about contacting him, call a friend and ask for help or chat randomly about things just to keep your mind off of him.

Let him wonder what you are doing and who you are hanging out with.

Let him contact you first. And when he does, don’t show that you were waiting for him to contact you.

Be polite and a bit indifferent but not too much, until you see his conversation is heading in another direction, the one that suits you the best. Let him do all the work.

7. Boost your self-confidence

shallow focus of young beautiful woman on street

The most important thing you need to pay attention to is working on your confidence.

If you act like you have zero chill or you get stressed easily, your guy will feel it and he will not want to be a part of it.

So, the best thing you could do for yourself is to work hard on boosting your self confidence because it’s the only way to tell him that you’re feeling awesome and nothing and no one can stop you from doing what you want.

Improving your self-confidence will help you improve your life and with it your chances of getting back together with your man.

And you can be sure that he will not be able to resist giving your relationship another chance.

8. Look your best to feel your best

An attractive young woman prepares in a dressing room

Work on your interior as well as exterior. Look your best to feel your best and you will ooze with happiness!

I’m sure you already know that guys are pretty much visual beings and you can never work too much on your appearance.

Buy some sexy outfit, spoil yourself with enchanting perfume and you’ll instantly feel ten times better.

You want to show him what a total catch you are and he won’t be able to take his eyes off of you.

The key is to occupy yourself with things and hobbies that inspire you and recharge your energy.

By doing what you’re passionate about, you will become a free-spirited, energetic woman who doesn’t need a man to make her happy. And that’s the message you want to send him.

You want to let him know that you want him but you don’t need him and there’s a huge difference between the two.

To get him back, you need to let him know that you’re having the time of your life on your own and if he wants to join you, he’s welcome. But if not, you’ll continue living your high life without him.

9. Don’t play games

beautiful young woman lying on bed and looking at her phone

Also, you need to stay away from playing any types of games with him because they will not bring you any good.

Instead, they will confuse him and he’ll think that you’re just playing with his emotions. Whatever you say or do, do so in a calm manner.

Don’t let him think that you’re desperate about wanting him back because if you do, he’ll take you for granted.

You need him to realize that you’re serious and honest about everything you say and do and that your ulterior motives are pure.

Even if he doesn’t like something, don’t force him into it. You want to give him space as much as possible so that he doesn’t feel pressured to decide or do anything that he’s not ready for.

You want him to decide that he wants you back and you’ll achieve it by staying cool and avoiding playing games.

10. Be willing to compromise

Man stares at woman near gray wall

If you want to be successful in your strategy of how to get him back, you will have to be willing to compromise and make some changes.

What happened in the past will stay in the past and now you have to focus on the present and the future.

You need to fix things that were not functioning and which were the reasons for your break-up in the first place.

For example, if you weren’t giving him enough alone time for himself, you want to fix things by giving him space and letting him know that you understand his need for it.

But always have boundaries. Never approve of something that you’re not quite comfortable with because getting him back is not about repeating your past.

It’s about fixing things from your past and building new, stable foundations for your future.


Category: How to get him back


Clinical Psychologist and Counseling Psychotherapist, Child Psychologist, Relationship Counsellor, Geriatric care, Neuro-Psychologist

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