I understand you are afraid of a future without your partner, so you stick with your relationship. You try to make it work, meaning that it becomes a forced relationship.
That doesn’t sound good, does it? The emotional damage and the toll it takes on your mental health are what make it worse. This is why I do not recommend staying in this type of relationship.
You might be asking yourself if they are really the one, or is you are forcing it. Here are a few answers to these questions. Here is a list of signs that tell you whether you have a future together.
What Is A Forced Relationship?
Relationships are not always easy to maintain, and sometimes it’s hard to know when a relationship is unhealthy or abusive.
Therefore, this type of relationship is where one or both partners push on with the relationship, even though it is over.
Some emotionally abusive relationships are also considered forced relationships because the victim is afraid of what will happen if they leave. There are many different reasons someone might be in a forced relationship, such as:
• Fear of being alone and not having anyone to love or support them.
• Not being able to live up to their partner’s expectations.
• Fear that if they break up with their partner, others will judge them for it.
• A sense that they are responsible for their partner and their happiness.
• Fear that if they break up with their partner, they will lose their social circle and have no one else in the world who cares about them.
People become lazy in relationships, often spending time with the wrong people and neglecting their well-being. Of course, this can also mean constant fights and walking on eggshells. At the end of the day, they are unhappy with their romantic relationship.
You can also be in a forced marriage, trying to make your relationship work and get it out of a rut. Forced relationships are when two people who do not want to be in a relationship are still forced to be together.
These relationships all have one thing in common: the two people in it do not want the relationship and would rather be on their own.
How To Tell If You’re In A Forced Relationship: 15 Signs
Wondering if you’re in a forced relationship? Here are some signs you are:
1. You’re insecure
I don’t just mean you. I mean your partner as well. You’re not in a conscious relationship anymore. In fact, you’re running on autopilot.
The partner who no longer wants to be in the relationship might feel that they have no control over their own lives and that the other person is controlling them. They may also feel like they are not good enough for their partner due to their insecurities.
2. No recovery after arguments
If you’re in a relationship that is forced, you need to work things out with your partner. Relationships are fragile and can easily be broken. But no matter how much you fight, you will never recover.
It’s easy for us to get so caught up in the heat of the moment that we forget what we are fighting about. Regardless of whether you’re arguing about small issues, ultimatums in relationships, or big things, this is not a characteristic of a healthy relationship.
3. They will change
You might be hoping your partner will change in the future, and that is why you need to set what you are looking for in a relationship straight.
The key to a successful relationship is to be open and honest with your partner. If you are not happy with the current state of your relationship, it is important to talk about it. The worst thing you can do is sit there and hope that your partner will change.
4. Focus on the relationship
If you have been in a relationship for any length of time, you know that it is not always easy to maintain focus on what is important.
We have all been in relationships where we felt like we had to be on guard constantly to ensure that things were still going well. This is because relationships are often so fragile, and we forget how hard it can be to keep them going strong.
5. Fake affection in public
It’s not that type of relationship. Yes, they fake affection in public. When they’re home, they don’t even look at each other.
We know how important showing love and affection is. They might think that showing love and affection will make them seem like an easy target for their partner, which is the case in forced relationships.
6. No trust
Trust is the most important factor in any relationship. An absence of trust leads to a lack of emotional security and, consequently, a lack of intimacy.
Trust is not something that they can give you. It must be earned. Hopefully, you’ve earned your trust in the relationship. Trust is rebuilt in a relationship through honesty, reliability, and consistency.
7. Faking interest
It is important to show interest in your partner and make them feel loved in a relationship. This can be difficult for people in a forced relationship. Some people may fake their interest to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings or to avoid being alone.
But the best way to overcome this fear is by learning how to take an interest in their life first. So, try to balance your relationship, get a new hobby, and let your relationship be transparent.
8. Not feeling safe
Since you are forcing your relationship, it might also mean that you don’t feel safe in it. Hopefully, you don’t feel this way due to emotional abuse or domestic violence.
It is common for people to be afraid of being in a relationship because of past experiences. They may have been hurt by someone they loved or have been abused. This can make it difficult for them to open up and trust someone.
9. The future has no excitement
A relationship is a two-way street, and both partners should be equally invested in it. If one partner lacks excitement for the other, this may not be the right relationship for them.
A lack of excitement can come from either side, but recognizing when someone else is bored of you is often more challenging.
If you are feeling uninterested in your partner or relationship, ask yourself if they seem to feel the same way about you. If they do not seem excited about being around you or talking to you, there may be a problem.
10. Not friends
Another possible thing is that you aren’t friends in your romantic relationship. The best loves go from friends to lovers, but you’re missing the “friends” part. The difference between the two is that relationships are built on trust and love.
While friendships are built on mutual interests, friendships can be temporary or lifelong, but relationships need to be long-term to maintain their stability. This is why you should look for a friend in your lover first.
11. Feeling good sometimes
Sometimes you feel good about your relationship, and other times, you don’t. This is normal. You need to explore why your relationship may not always feel great and how to enjoy your relationship more.
Regardless of what type of relationship you have, it can be a female-led relationship or a private relationship. The point is to feel good about it. If you don’t feel good about your partner, there is something wrong with your relationship.
12. Not respected
Are you constantly asking for respect and being denied? No respect between partners in a relationship is a common problem. It can be caused by many things like jealousy, insecurity, or infidelity.
The first step in resolving this problem is to identify what’s causing the lack of respect. Once you know what’s causing the issue, you can start working on the root of the problem and find ways to fix it.
13. No goals
Another sign of a forced relationship is not having any goals together. Couple goals are a crucial part of every relationship.
It is natural to talk about the future together when you are in a relationship. But if your partner does not want to talk about it, then it is time to leave. You should not stay in a relationship where you have no goals set for the future.
14. Drifting apart
Are you and your partner growing apart? It is not uncommon for couples to drift apart in their relationships.
They might get bored, or they might not be getting the same amount of attention as they used to. This is a sign you are forcing your relationship and should not proceed with it.
15. The little things
There are so many things that make you happy. The little things in a relationship are what make it work. They are unspoken gestures that can be done without any effort.
Doing small acts of kindness is a way of showing someone how much they mean to you. You can fake them once they are gone, but your partner can tell you’re forcing the relationship.
5 Reasons To Say No To A Forced Relationship
Relationships are not something that needs to be forced. It is essential to respect the other person’s feelings and give them space if they want it.
Most people have a different idea of what a relationship should be like, and we should respect that.
Here are some reasons why you shouldn’t force your relationship:
• DIFFERENT: Let’s face it. You’ve drifted apart. You want different things in life, and this relationship is limiting you.
• FULL-TIME JOB: Yes, relationships take work, but if you force it, it will take up too much of your time.
• UNHAPPY: Yes, both sides will be completely unhappy in the relationship. Why do they stay? Because they are used to it.
• IT SHOWS: Your friends and family see it, and it’s even visible on social media. You are trying too hard.
• MENTAL HEALTH: Yes, your emotional and mental health are both suffering because you keep clinging to something that isn’t real.
There are many reasons you should never force a relationship that’s not working. The most important one is because you’ll only end up hurting yourself and your partner if you stay in an unhappy relationship for too long.
Don’t Force It!
In the end, you shouldn’t force yourself to be with someone when your heart says you shouldn’t. It’s like breaking your own heart over and over again.
You need to put yourself in first place and make your significant other speak their mind as well. In fact, my final point is that you shouldn’t force it.
Your mental health, emotions, relationships, professional life, as well as physical health will suffer. So, pick yourself up and carry on with your own private life alone.
What to read next:
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- 17 Bare Minimum Relationship Standards You Have To Set
- 10 ‘Green Flags’ You Should Look For Early On In A Relationship
- 5 Signs That You Are In A Deeply Intimate Relationship