How to get him back

How To Make Your Ex Want You Back: 10 Methods That Really Work


Since you’re here, I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you’re eager to know how to make your ex want you back. Am I warm?

We’ve all been there. We’ve all tried so hard to get an ex back, only to fail.

But I’m going to share with you some proven methods that actually did help me get my ex-boyfriend back!

Buckle up because you’re going to want to hear this.

Woman on the floor leaning on balcony door staring outside

Perhaps you’re struggling to cope with your ex-girlfriend dumping you?

Or maybe you’re stalking your ex-boyfriend on social media, hoping to see he’s miserable?

Either way, you’re about to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

First, you should know that nothing worth having ever comes easy.

Now, if you’re ready to make an effort for a second chance, here’s how you become a success story in getting your ex back.


How To Make Your Ex Miss You?

Woman and man staring inverted profile

First off, it’s not going to be a piece of cake, which is a perfect opportunity to show them how much you truly miss spending time with them.

You were clearly not ready to end things and now your goal is to have your ex contact you (texting or phone call – both work) without you having to take the first step.

You want to respect the initial no contact period in order to let enough time go by and everyone’s feelings stabilize.

Your ex needs to see that you’re respectful of the space they needed before you meet up for the first time since ending your long-term relationship.

The last time you met, it was a whirlwind of emotions, so this needs to go smoothly.

Woman in front thinking silhouette in background

The no contact rule is crucial, as it allows you to sort your own life and become the best version of yourself.

The last thing you want is to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Regardless of who ended it in the first place and how it went down, you need to regain your self-confidence and win them back with the little things that mean the world to them.

When your mutual friends start telling them about your new, improved ways, you’ll see if your ex still has a soft spot for you.

Along with the methods I’m about to show you and some newfound self-esteem, you’ll be getting your best friend back in no time. Here’s how you start.

10 Steps To Winning Your Ex Back

1. Get some much-needed space

Man faces upwards eyes closed

I cannot stress this enough. The only way to get your ex to want you back is by distancing yourself and leaving them (and yourself) enough space to breathe.

You want to figure out what went wrong, right? You want them to see what a mistake ending things was, right?

Then get some space between you two. There are so many benefits to this, and here are the biggest ones:

• It’ll help you clear your mind

woman standing on walkway holding backpack

The only way to see things from their perspective and figure out what went wrong is by backing off to see it clearly.

Sending them a bunch of text messages is counterproductive to this step.

You need time to figure it all out and they do too. This does not mean that you should be anything but polite if you ever run into them.

Be kind and gracious, but don’t overstep your boundaries. It’ll tickle their fancy.

• You’ll be single once again

Girlfriends arms on waist backview

When’s the last time you were truly single and able to just get into a carefree rebound relationship without feeling guilty?

You need this and – most importantly – you deserve this!

Be single. Be impulsive. Do what makes YOU happy!

It’s all about rediscovering yourself and being your own best friend.

Go out with your girlfriends. It’s never a bad idea to put yourself first.

Once you do, it’ll also make your ex start missing you.

• You’ll find your own passion

woman on couch holding camera

To get your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend to love you again, first you need to love yourself.

They need to see that you are your own person and that you are independent and capable of taking care of yourself.

Use this time to find your passion and dedicate yourself to it! Every next day is going to be so much easier if you’re doing something that fulfills you.

Let things develop organically and just follow your gut. If it’s meant to be, it will be!


2. Learn to make yourself happy

Woman smiling turned hair flip

Do you know what attracts people toward you? Your happiness and ability to find something positive in every situation.

People like to be around those who can always find a reason to be perky.

Be that person for yourself. Not for your ex and not for anyone else.

You need to find your own happiness if you want to find it with someone else as well.

So many times I’ve depended on others to make me happy and do you know what it got me?

Man long hair sad look winter outdoors

Pure misery. Until I finally figured out that it all starts with myself.

Your ex will be pleasantly surprised to see you making it work amidst your tough breakup.

Sometimes, people just need space to find themselves before they can let someone else be a part of their lives.

Perhaps this is how your story needs to unfold. You just need to find happiness on your own before you’re ready to let your partner add to it.

You don’t need a relationship coach and you don’t need anyone telling you that you’re not good enough.

Woman by the ricefields wearing white top and jeans

Getting some alone time will give you a chance to find the happiness within before asking it from someone else.

Do everything you never had time for when you were in a relationship.

Don’t have second thoughts – just go for it!

One day, you’ll wake up and realize that you’re perfectly happy spending time with just yourself.

And that realization will get you one step closer to getting your lover back.

3. Get to the bottom of your breakup

Man wearing hoodie and eyeglasses holding cap

The most important thing to figure out is why things ended the way they did.

There is no going back if you don’t know what needs to be fixed.

Were you experiencing intimacy issues? Were you unable to say those three magical words even though you felt it?

Were you spending too much time apart that it ultimately drove a wedge between you two?

You need to find out the exact problem if you want to avoid repeating it.

If you’re so curious to know how to make your ex-boyfriend want you back, show them you’re willing to work on the issues that drove you apart.

Woman prayerlike clasped hands

Nobody wants to go back to a broken place.

While respecting the no-contact period, try to reflect back on your relationship to get some clues on what led to the breakup.

Communication is a big deal. If you start seeing that you never found a common ground, that’s a good place to start getting them to see you becoming more aware of the reality of your situation.

Show them you can adjust to their wishes and it’ll encourage them to do the same.

Nobody is perfect and people screw up. But when you love each other, you need to be able to compromise.

Coupl arguing inside in silhouette

You need to be able to put your pride aside and do something you may not want to do.

Because guess what? Nobody can have it their way all the time. But when you love someone, you’re completely okay with that.

Their happiness is your happiness. Prioritizing them becomes more important than getting your way every time.

Maybe you just need to figure that out in order to find your way back to each other.


4. Set new goals and stick to them

Woman touching forehead behind glass wall

When contemplating entering into a relationship with your ex again, you need to ask yourself some important questions.

What is going to be different this time? How are you going to make sure that you don’t fall back into the same unhealthy patterns?

Which boundaries will you set to ensure a happier second chance?

Without the answers to these questions, you are not ready to step back into that territory.

You both need to discuss the ins and outs before going back to each other.

My advice is to avoid engaging in physical intimacy before you resolve the emotional aspect of things.

Couple woman hugged from behind

Making love won’t fix anything until you have solid ground to stand on.

Take things slow. Be a united front.

If your ex has started warming up to the idea of being an item again, take it step by step and work as a team.

You don’t want your ex to mistake this for some fling.

They need to know this is for real. And the best way to achieve that is by taking the time to get to know each other once again.

Couple walking by the beachside wearing shades

After having discussed everything that went on, you’re ready to move on to the next step.

And that is figuring out how to make sure you’ll be careful this time around.

For example, you can decide that you’ll never dismiss their needs again, and your ex can promise that they’ll start being better at communicating.

Such a simple decision can affect you in such a positive way.

And before you know it, you’ll be a brand new couple who actually stands a chance to make it work.

Everything is possible with some effort and perseverance.

5. Don’t go back to your old habits

Broken glass reflection of a woman's eye

They’re what killed your flame, remember? Avoid this at all costs.

This is why the whole figuring out what went wrong is so crucial. Without this, you don’t stand a chance.

If your problem was that you never made time for each other, make it a point to set aside a designated time solely for each other, without ever breaking it.

The moment you start making excuses as to why you can’t do it ”just this one time” is the moment it all starts going to hell.

Woman sitting by window with reflection on glass

Be a person of your word. If you promised them commitment, offer them just that.

Your ex needs to know they can depend on you. How can they do that if they see you going back to your old habits?

Making each other a priority is what it’s all about.

If you’re adamant to make your ex want you back, you need to show them there’s something worth coming back to!

I’ve had so many experiences with exes who kept promising me mountains but when it came time to deliver, they were all talk. It’s hurtful and disappointing.

Couple hugging wearing jeans jacket

We all deserve to be cherished. We all deserve to be someone’s first choice.

All you have to do is show your ex that they’re more important to you than getting that perfect Snapchat photo or texting your BFF when you’re supposed to have some quality time together.

When you’re together, that’s what should matter. No social media, no phone calls, just you two getting your rhythm back.

Tell them ”I love you” and prove it with your actions. As simple as that.

See also: 10 Subtle Signs People Don’t Like You As Much As You Like Them

6. Who are you outside of your relationship?

woman yoga pose meditating at sunrise

Self-care is vital. Your relationship doesn’t define you.

It merely adds to your happiness, but YOU are the one who decides what kind of person you are on your own.

So, even when you do finally get together again, never forget to prioritize yourself as well. Both of you.

You need to know who you are without needing them to define you.

When you take care of your own individual persona, your self-confidence will be at an all-time high and you will feel complete both single and taken.

woman playing the piano guitar bookshelves background

Do things on your own. Get involved in anything that sparks a fire within and help yourself achieve maximum joy in life.

Doing stuff that makes you happy improves your mental health as well.

Dedicating time to discovering the things that bring you happiness outside of your partner gives your life meaning.

And that helps you be a better person, as well as a better partner.

So your main takeaway should be this: No matter what happens with your ex, always make sure to do things for your own well-being.

Woman in grey sweater holding coffee cup and reading a book

You are your longest investment. And you deserve to ensure a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life, in whichever way you please.

People who take time to listen to what their heart is telling them ultimately end up leading the happiest lives.

Your partner will be happy to see you thrive on your own, and you will feel like you’re on top of the world.

Try it. I promise, it’s the best way to live life.

And it makes you a million times more attractive. Being happy, fulfilled, and independent screams relationship material.

They’d be a fool not to give you a second chance.

7. Always leave them wanting more

Couple by the flowering tree man wearing hat with grinning woman

Here’s the thing. On your way to getting your ex back, you want them to see you as this amazing girl who’s truly ready for a healthy relationship, right?

That means you need to make them want to spend time with you as much as possible.

And how do you do that? By always leaving them wanting more!

Don’t put all the cards on the table at once. Don’t let them see how eager you are. Leave some mystery.

Play hard to get. Be your best self and just when they’re hooked, decide you have somewhere you need to be.

That is how you’ll get their attention. Even if you’ve successfully managed to get them back.

Seated man between potted plants in front of white wall

It’s never okay to be too overbearing. Leave some space for them to miss you!

That way, every time your ex isn’t with you, they’ll be wondering what you’re doing.

And that will put you on their radar better than any other technique.

People need a reason to want you back. All you have to do is give it to them!

Maybe this new you is a cool, adventurous person who’s totally fine with not being at each other’s beck and call all the time.

Once your ex sees how easy it is to be around you and how much there still is to find out about you, they’ll be enchanted.

Man and woman hugging surrounded by plants

Think about it from your own perspective. Don’t you just love it when you have something to look forward to? Isn’t it so appealing to have some mystery?

It’s hot, it’s necessary, and it’s what a long-term relationship needs.

Falling into a rut is so easy… Avoid it by breathing some fresh air into your newfound relationship (take two).

If they love you, they’ll love this new side of you. Desperation is SO last year.

It’s all about a cool, calm demeanor and taking it super easy.


8. Spark some jealousy

man looking down wearing boxing gloves

Disclaimer: Some people are just not the jealous type so whatever you do, they might not respond to it.

Don’t be alarmed by it. Every other method from the list can easily do the trick!

The first thing on the agenda is finding someone to make your ex jealous with!

It should NOT be someone who’s in a relationship nor should you do it if you’re in one.

But since you’re trying to get your ex back, I’m assuming you’re very much single.

Okay, so first, find some hot person in your social circle who can help you achieve this.

couple hugging and holding hands in front of festival lights

Second, find out if your ex is attending any events or if you’ll be seeing them during your weekend night out with mutual friends.

If you will – awesome! Bring that person and remain close.

Hold their hand, smile like you mean it and give the impression that you’re truly happy (but don’t overdo it).

Your ex is bound to notice it. And their reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

One other thing you can try is posting photos with this new person on your social media accounts.

That will definitely spark some jealousy and perhaps make them contact you.

Couple drinking coffee while gazing at each other

They’ll likely want to know what the nature of your relationship is (which is a sign that they’re definitely not over you!)

This way, you can reassure them that you’re just really good friends and you’re very much single (much to their delight).

Now that it’s obvious that there are still sparks there, you may even ask to meet up for coffee and talk in person. But don’t plan the conversation beforehand.

Let things happen organically because that’s the only way you can actually start the relationship again. No forcing.

Just two people finding their way back to each other.

9. Shoot them a cute, nostalgic text

Close up of a woman smiling while texting

Contacting your ex after the breakup can be really challenging. You don’t want to sound needy but you want them to know how much you miss them.

You want to text them so badly, but you also want them to initiate the conversation. What to do?

Well, one way to see if they want you back is by shooting them a casual text of something that reminds you of them.

That’s cute and personal, but not overbearing. And they will surely be pleased to see something reminding you of them and immediately make them nostalgic.

Maybe it’s your song playing in the supermarket? Maybe you saw a cute labrador on the street that reminded you of their fur baby that you also miss so much?

Labrador dog lying down on wild grass

This is a surefire way to get their attention through an innocent, nostalgic, deeply personal text.

Who knows, this might just be the thing that makes them ask you out again.

After enough time has passed, a lot can change. They may realize that you’re still the one for them.

You both may see things from a clearer perspective.

Yes, there may have been issues. But who doesn’t have them? Everyone struggles sometimes.

Beautiful couple hugging while sitting down on grass fields

It’s all about who’s worth the pain. And they may realize that you indeed are.

If this works, try to be positive, pace yourself, and genuinely care about what they have to say.

Be present in the moment and act like an attentive partner you know they need.

Let them realize on their own what a mistake breaking up was.

See also: My Boyfriend Cheated On Me: 21 Things You Should And Shouldn’t Do

10. Focus on the future, NOT the past

Couple's hands wearing matching rings

Okay, so you definitely need to acknowledge that during your time apart, you both clearly led lives that may have involved other people.

It’s up to you how much you’re ready to divulge, but my advice is not a lot.

Your ex doesn’t need to know that you slept with a random dude. And you don’t need to know about their hook-ups.

This will only bring feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. If you’re truly adamant to give this a real shot, be focused on the future, NOT the past.

That’s the only way to make it work.

Man and woman lying on grass hugging

We all have a past. We’ve all done things while we were single that our partners are better off not knowing.

If this is your clean slate, then let it be just that! Decide to set some new rules.

Discuss how you want to make sure that this time none of you falters.

But no matter what you do, do not ask them about what they did when you were apart. Curiosity killed the cat, remember?

Trust them that they’ll be committed to you now and promise the same to them.

Couple woman hugging man kisses head from behind

So many times in life I’ve realized that life is just too short to let a good thing go by.

If this person really means that much to you, it will be easy ensuring a clean slate with no broken promises.

Don’t hurt yourself by not being able to forget the past and move forward.

The future can be so bright… You just have to let the past stay where it belongs.

When I got my ex back, it was exactly like that. I refused to know what he did when we were apart because I knew it would hurt me much more if I knew.

Couple sitting down on cement floow while gazing at the sunset

What does it matter anyway? The only thing that really matters is that when two people are ready to give it another shot, it’s not about yesterday. It’s all about now.

How you choose to act now is how it will all unfold in the end.

What’s it going to be? Are you ready to see what your future has in store?

If so, say goodbye to yesterday, because today is a brand new day for a new beginning.

Final Thoughts

Couple hugging with man kissing woman's nose

When you’re getting back with your ex, you need to tread lightly.

This is your second chance for happiness and you don’t want to blow it.

These methods are proven ways that have helped me get back together with my current boyfriend and, honestly, I’ve never been happier.

But you can’t force someone to love you if the feelings are gone.

Getting them back is going to take a lot of self-reflection and soul searching.

Woman clasps blonde hair by the chin

There is no magic wand to wave around. Just you and your honest truths.

Are you truly ready to make it work this time?

Can you say with certainty that you’re able to not make the same mistakes again? Only time will tell.

These steps on how to make your ex want you back are here to guide you in the right direction.

Some of them are bound to get you results if the spark is indeed still there.

Woman selfie camera shot mirror reflection

But at the end of the day, all you can do is give it your best shot. And if you fail, at least you’ll know you tried!

Even if you realize that your relationship cannot be salvaged, there is still something to look forward to.

In the process, you might just find yourself again.

And isn’t that kind of worth any struggle?

Category: How to get him back


Clinical Psychologist and Counseling Psychotherapist, Child Psychologist, Relationship Counsellor, Geriatric care, Neuro-Psychologist

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button