Dealing with breakup

This Is What You Actually Gained From Losing Him


While you were with him, you thought that the entire world was at the grasp of your fingertips. You thought what you had with him was the real deal because he did everything possible in order for you to fall for him.

Unfortunately, after his “Mr. Darcy” period, instead of rising to new heights together, your whole world fell apart.

The truth is, you never really had him in the first place. You had an illusion of him and that’s it. You fell for a side of him that wasn’t truly his.

You fell for the guy he chose to show you, but he wasn’t that guy. He was totally the opposite of a good guy. He was toxic and you had no idea.

The problem with being a part of a toxic relationship is that you don’t even realize  that you’re in one.

Do you remember the story about the frog and the boiling water?

Well, the frog had no idea that the water was getting warmer and warmer until it was too late.

The same thing might’ve happened to you—you might have stayed in a toxic relationship till there was nothing left of you anymore.

Lucky, you jumped out of the boiling water just in time to save yourself.

At first, after losing him, it felt like you lost everything that was familiar to you. It felt like the floor underneath your feet disappeared and that it was only matter of time before you would fall into the hole. But the reality was much different.

Yes, by losing him, you lost a few things as well. Luckily, none of those things was a good thing. It’s nothing you should cry for.

Your anxiety abandoned you together with him.

It took both of them way too long to pack their things and go, but it was a hell of a relief when those guests left your home.

You used to tremble at the smallest thing you did because you kept anticipating his reaction.

Everything you did was followed by the fear that he might not approve, that he might not understand, and that it might get you into trouble.

For a long time, you were the girl that didn’t care for anyone’s opinion, but he made you feel insecure and scared, and for each and every thing you did or thought of doing, you felt like you needed his approval.

You needed him to go along with your ideas otherwise you’d live in hell with him withdrawing his attention and love from you. When you let him go, you let your anxiety go as well.

After you lost him, you lost the feeling of having someone and not being loved.

After he’d emotionally punish you for anything and everything, you’d just sit there, next to the man you love, and you’d feel like the loneliest person in the world.

If you’d just have stretched your arm, you could’ve touched him, but what was the use of it? After the episodes he’d put you through, he seemed more like your headsman than the man that loves and cares for you.

After you lost him, you freed yourself from the torture of having him sitting next to you while being a mile distant. 

If it was really a loss, I’d say it was a good loss.

You might think now that you’re missing a lot since he’s gone, but all the things that you’re left without now are the things that were actually not good for you.

Even if those things might have felt good, they were used for one sole purpose—for a toxic man to make you stay with him.

If you’d free yourself from the idea that you need him, you’d see that you’re doing really fine. If you’d just open your eyes, you’d see that you gained a lot more than you lost.

You gained your freedom from losing him.

There isn’t a thing in this world holding you back now. There isn’t a thing or a person that might stop you. Y

ou are not going to hear a big fat ‘NO’ from anybody because nobody has that power over you, anymore. You finally took your freedom back in your hands—the only place where it really belongs.

You gained your love from losing him.

You might think he’s your love, but he isn’t and he wasn’t. You need to let go of that idea and only then you’ll see where true love lies.

You find love in the mornings when you wake up and you are not afraid anymore. You find love in reading that book or smiling at a random stranger.

You find love in your family and your friends that you get to see now since he’s no longer there to give you a hard time for making space in your heart for anybody else but him.

You found happiness after you lost him.

You might not see it yet, but you are happier now. The wrinkles that you have around your eyes are not from frowning or crying, but from those happy moments you’re living now.

You are a different person—you resemble the girl that you were before he made you change.

You gained your confidence back after you lost him.

You might think that you were confident because you had him sitting with you at the table or because you never had to walk into a room full of people alone, but that’s not what confidence is about.

You might have been confident when he was around, but the moment he left you alone, you’d start panicking and screaming inside.

You’d feel like there is a part of you missing and that you can’t do anything on your own. Luckily, that changed as well.

Now, you get to walk into a room full of people and feel confident. Now, you get to see yourself in the mirror and feel pretty.

There is nobody else to tell you otherwise. Now, you get to have that job interview and see if you get the job because there is nobody to stop you from going by making you feel incompetent.

Now, you get to become whoever you want because there is nobody to tell you you can’t.

Although he left a scar on your heart and you might have cried when you closed the last page of your book with him.

There is room for new things now. You still get to write another book and this time make sure it has a happy ending.


Category: Dealing with breakup

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