How to get him back

Will He Come Back If I Leave Him Alone? 20 Ways To Success


When you end a serious relationship , you can’t just stop thinking about your ex boyfriend overnight.

He’s your best friend and this is a huge loss for you. Healing doesn’t just happen overnight.

It’s more difficult if you were engaged or in a long-term relationship with him and now everything that you see reminds you of him.

The first place you went to post- break up played a song that he adores and that was the first time you heard it and actually wanted to cry.

He’s the last thing you think of when you go to bed and the first thing when you wake up.

You’re trying to figure out what went wrong and you can’t function properly. You keep re-reading your text messages and reminiscing about last week when everything was still perfect in your love life.

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No matter how much you try, you can’t eat and you spend a lot of time with cramps in your stomach that don’t let you relax.

You’re sad because you gave yourself all in to the man who decided to end your relationship and leave you like he was leaving nothing.

You end up doubting your self-worth, your common sense, and all those things that you thought you did well.

You’ve already experienced heartbreak before him and you’re not ready to go through all of this a second time.

You’re obsessed with a man who was your whole world, but now he’s decided to leave you and move on.

If you’re determined to have him back, The Ex Factor Guide is the only thing you’ll need.

There are so many emotions inside you and you don’t know what to do with them.

Should you even consider giving him a second chance or would that be the furthest thing from a healthy relationship ?

You’re struggling every day to stop thinking about him, but you simply can’t.

He was the one you talked to about all your work things , he was the only one you were texting on a daily basis, and you can’t imagine entering a new relationship now. And the thought of him with a new girlfriend makes your gut churn.

sad woman sitting on floor at home

Last year , you were talking about moving in together and getting a dog, and now your whole world is collapsing.

You went from daily phone calls about everything and anything with the love of your life to a single life you did not sign up for.

Even if the two of you fought, you still want him to be a part of your life because you don’t want to give up on something so serious.

After all, people go through an on-and- off relationship all the time – why couldn’t this just be a minor setback?

Knowing that you still love him, you’re trying to figure out solutions to bring him back. So you’re now asking yourself if he’ll come back to you if you leave him alone. Is it really worth a shot?

You think that there’s a chance he will miss you once he doesn’t see or hear from you for a long time.

And you know what? You’re probably right. The smartest thing is to trust your gut feeling .

There isn’t a worse thing in this world than defying yourself and spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been, but never was.

If he truly loves you, he’ll realize what kind of a woman you are and start missing you soon.

Especially if you were so close to calling him fiance ! That is too precious to give up just like that.

He’ll see that he can’t live without you and that your fight wasn’t worth this horrible breakup .

It could be the perfect opportunity to tell each other what your problems and insecurities are, and to move on and be stronger than you’ve ever been.

So, it could really be just a matter of time before he crawls back to you, begging you for forgiveness, but you also have to play this game in a smart way.

Be patient and think things through if you want this to actually work.

To help you further with this issue, here are some proven ways that can make an ex come back , once you leave him alone. So, let’s start!

1. No contact period

woman gesturing stop sign with hand

This is one of the most important things when you want your ex to miss you and come back to you.

You should know that the no contact rule is not about your ex but about you, so you’re the one who has to stop obsessing about him.

There are so many things that you can focus on and, in that way, stop thinking about him.

I know that you’ll miss him and that many men will remind you of him, but you’re strong enough to overcome that feeling.

Just know that your current sacrifice is for some bigger things that will happen in the future.

If you’re able to not contact him for the next week at all, than slowly move up to 30 days – you’ll also manage to not do that in the next 30, trust me.

And after all that time spent without him, you won’t need him as you need the air in your lungs.

You’ll just wait for him to contact you in case he wants the two of you to start over. This way, he’ll start realizing that you are perfectly fine without him.

He’ll wonder how come you haven’t called, texted, or even asked about him through mutual friends.

You literally just vanished without a trace and, believe me when I say, it’ll bug him.

That will start eating away at him and with time he will get the urge to contact YOU just to see how you are and how you’re dealing with this breakup.

And this will be your opportunity to have a mature conversation initiated by him, and see if it can be worked out.

2. You can’t be “friends”

worried woman leaning on balcony fence

When you end a love relationship, the worst thing that you can do is ask your ex to “be friends.”

You can’t expect to be good friends after all that you’ve been through.

Past lovers are never good friends because of all the emotions they still feel, and you’re no exception to the rule.

The best solution would be to leave him alone and in that way, make him miss you.

If he sees that you’re enjoying your life without him, he may be a little jealous, and come to realize that he still loves you after all.

But keeping him around will only make the experience more insufferable.

The man you love cannot be your friend because of the depth of your emotions.

Perhaps with time, you two can gradually get to that point, but right now, what you need is some healthy distance to sort it all out and give him a chance to miss you.

Don’t delude yourself that this friendship stands a chance. It would be doomed from the get-go.

3. Be careful with social media

woman typing on her phone in the train

I know that some girls ghost their exes on social media sites, but that’s not a good way to get over someone.

Going off on Snapchat and posting sexy, revealing photos and snaps only makes you look lame in his eyes. That’s the furthest thing from a healthy way to get over someone.

Ghosting only makes you feel good for a second and going on an Instagram spree will make it so obvious who your targeted audience is (your ex).

Maybe he has a rebound girlfriend as well, just to get over you, but that wouldn’t sit well with you, would it?

So, just forget that you have your ex in your Facebook contacts and don’t post any kind of hateful posts about bad relationships because he’ll know that you are doing it because of him.

And that’s anything but positive for you. He’ll see your jealousy and bitterness and it might even make him feel good, because he’ll know that he is the cause of your downfall.

Don’t do this to yourself – rise above it. Post only the things you would normally post and restrain yourself from petty Tweets and vengeful posts.

Those never work in anyone’s favor and it’s better to realize this now, before you regret it.

4. Meet someone new

smiling man and woman talking at bar

When you meet someone new, you won’t think about your ex so much.

On the other hand, he’ll see that you’re having fun without him and start missing you. So whatever happens, it is a win-win situation.

In this way, you’ll make your ex think about you and he might even contact you to ask you about your life.

This is something quite normal in all relationships because no man will get over the fact that his ex is having fun with someone new just a couple of days after a breakup.

He’ll think that he wasn’t special to you and do his best to win you back.

Even if this new person isn’t somebody you’re interested in, that’s totally irrelevant.

It can be any guy friend that he doesn’t know about and it’ll do the trick.

Make him miss you by doing so little. Sometimes, the simplest things do the trick!

5. Ignore him

woman talking on phone while man gets angry

The best way to get his attention is to actually ignore him. He’ll ask himself if there is another man in your life and if you’re already over him.

Give him the silent treatment every time you see him, so he can realize that you are no longer interested in what he has to say.

Knowing guys, he’ll constantly think about it – he won’t be able to help himself – and start missing you like crazy.

In no time, he’ll probably call you to go out with him so you could talk about what happened.

And it’s going to be a pretty good sign that he wants you to be together again.

Just lower your expectations and don’t expect things to happen overnight.

It takes time to win him back, but it is possible. Don’t push too hard and try to let things develop organically. If it’s meant to be, he’s going to find his way back.

6. Cut him off totally

man look thoughtful at home

It’s one thing to ignore him, but cutting him off completely, as if he never existed, is a whole other thing! That’ll confuse him and he’ll wonder why you’re behaving like that.

It’ll make him think more about you, make him miss you more than ever. In that way, you’ll give him his space and he’ll be able to do what he wants.

But you know what? He will be thinking only about you and by leaving him alone, you will manage to bring him back.

He will see that you are all that he needs and never want to leave you again. The truth is that he realized your worth only when he lost you.

And once you completely cut him off, he finally came to his senses, realizing that you’re the only girl capable of making his heart beat fast.

You’re the only girl he would ever get so upset over. And he’ll be damned if he’ll let you get away for a second time !

7. Be irresistible

smiling woman posing for photo

Do everything in your power to be the best version of yourself. Change your clothing style and change your mindset.

Tell yourself every day that you’re an amazing woman and that he’ll regret dumping you. Let him see you all dressed up, having fun with someone new.

If he still loves you, he’ll probably be jealous and want you back. If he sees that you’re doing pretty good on your own, he’ll want you back.

He’ll realize what he’s lost and do anything to have you back in his life. So, it’s up to you whether you’ll go back to him and under which conditions.

And the best thing about this is that once you make all of these tiny changes and start having fun without him, you’ll actually realize that you’re still perfectly capable of being happy, regardless of what happens with him!

So either way, you know that you’ll be okay. Hopefully it will make him realize his loss.

But even if he doesn’t, it’ll give you hope that you’re good on your own.

8. Pretend you’ve moved on

woman in black dress holds man chin

In this case, you need to play an important role – the role of a woman who doesn’t give a damn.

That means you need to pretend that you are always happy, even if you are not.

Post photos with new people that you have fun with, show him that you are good on your own and that he made a mistake when he let you go.

I know this sounds a little bit cruel, but just keep in mind that you’re doing it to bring him back.

You are doing all of it because you actually love him and care about him. And you need to move on with this game until you see some change in him.

There are only two things that can happen: He can either come back to you or he can pull away to suffer in his pain for losing you.

And my guess is, he’ll come back to you in a heartbeat. We’re all only human.

Seeing his girl happily dance the night away with new people and old friends from high school will nauseate him.

He might think that he’s over you, but that’s when the feelings will come rushing back.

9. Don’t beg him to come back

worried woman looking at her phone at cafe

No matter how much you love him and crave his presence, never beg him for anything.

Remember that no matter the miles (even if you were in a long distance relationship or lived next door), nobody is stopping him from reaching out to you.

Don’t stoop so low for someone who doesn’t want to make an effort to win you back.

There is nothing wrong with missing him, but don’t ever beg him to take you back. Remember that you have your own pride and will never cross the line.

If he really loved you and missed you, he would try to contact you to discuss things.

But just don’t do something that you’ll regret later. Sometimes, it’s more important to be true to yourself than to do things for someone else that you know you’ll learn to regret.

It’s important to realize who’s worth your efforts and who isn’t. But begging should never be an option – you know you’re better than that.

10. Don’t criticize his new life

thoughtful looking outside

Just because you’re angry or sad doesn’t mean that you should criticize his new life.

He might find a rebound girlfriend just to make you jealous, but don’t believe all that you see.

Men use different tricks to make their ex jealous and suffer for them, but since you know that, don’t even pay attention.

Stay away from his life by giving him the space to try different things.

In the end, he’ll see that you’re the best and want to come back to you.

Respect his choices and watch from a safe distance, but never intervene. That’s a line that should never be crossed.

It’s fine to want to win him back, but it’s wrong feeling you have the right to criticize the way in which he has moved on.

To each his own. God always has a plan, and with a little luck, his path might lead him back to you in no time.

11. Stay busy

female sits and painting

If you are busy, chances are higher that you won’t think about him so much. In that way, he’ll have enough time to think twice about your relationship, plus, you’ll feel that you’re doing something good for yourself by enjoying your life.

I know that you won’t be able to relax fully and that he’ll cross your mind sometimes, but if you keep yourself busy, those moments will be rare.

To keep him off your mind, you can start learning something new. Enroll in a new class or pick up a new hobby.

Whatever it might be, it’ll surely help you stay away from him and in that way, make him come back to you.

By keeping busy, you’re doing yourself a huge favor. First, you’re giving your mind a break from the constant thoughts about him, and you are focusing on something else, which will help you find new things to enjoy with all of this newfound free time!

12. If he contacts you, don’t answer immediately

woman looking at her phone with scary face

Let me ask you: Did you suffer when he left you? Did you cry yourself to sleep because you thought that he has someone else? Was it hard for you to stop thinking about him?

If the answer is positive to all these questions, it means that he deserves a taste of his own medicine.

You need to show him that he’s not the only important one in your life and that you are good on your own.

So, when he texts you or calls you, don’t get back to him immediately. Let some time pass and then call or text him.

Tell him that you were busy doing something else and ask him what he needs from you.

But be sure not to answer until at least the next day . You may even be active on Snapchat and snapping new pics while you’re ignoring him if you want; you don’t owe him anything.

Be strict but polite at the same time, and don’t let him think that you’re suffering just because you’re no longer together.

It’ll definitely make him come back to you because you left him alone for some time.

13. Have fun

friends rising hands in roofless car

You know what they say: Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened!

Just because you ended a love relationship , doesn’t mean that you should shut yourself up in your room and cry over your sad destiny. Instead, go out and have fun.

Life is short – you should enjoy it. Moreover, when your ex sees you happy, he’ll think about the reason for your happiness.

He might even think that you found someone new and start seeing all your beautiful qualities.

And there’s a point at which he will totally lose himself because of you.

Just because you had fun and didn’t make any drama about the breakup , he wanted to have you in his life again.

By just showing him that you can do well on your own and by leaving him alone, you’ll slowly make him want you back.

It takes truly little to make a guy see your worth. All it takes is some genuine fun without him, and it’ll make him wonder why he left you in the first place . If he’s the right guy for you, eventually he’ll knock on your door.

But if he doesn’t, despite all of this, it’s your cue that he’s not the guy you’re meant to be with. Open your eyes and see things for what they truly are.

14. Make your mutual friends your allies

smiling friends at restaurant

It’s expected that you and your ex will have some mutual friends if you were in a long-term relationship .

And what you can do to win him back is to let them see you with someone else so they can tell him.

Even if you don’t have anyone special (because you still love him), make them believe that you do. That’s your way to get in his head again.

Enjoy a night out with a new man, but make sure that your mutual friends see it.

I’m sure they’ll tell him what they saw and he won’t be able to believe what they’re saying.

That’ll make him go crazy about you because he knows that deep down he isn’t over you yet, he just pretends that he is.

And yes, that’ll make him crawl back to you to ask to be with you again.

Just don’t be too obvious and needy. Casually mention to them that you’re seeing someone new and make sure that they know how happy you are (it doesn’t have to be true).

And be SURE that the news will reach your ex at some point. Then, the ball is in his court.

If he wants you, he better move quickly and if he doesn’t, you’ll at least know for sure and be able to focus on healthier things.

15. Let him go to make him come back

woman raises her hat at field

The best way to make a man come back to you is if you let him go . I know it feels weird, but hear me out.

In that way, you’ll give him enough time to think about you and your relationship, and to see all the pros and cons.

If he really loves you, he’ll just need some time to figure it out and then he’ll come back to you.

Sometimes people get stuck in a routine in long-term relationships and they need to be apart from each other just to realize that they can’t live one without the other.

So, if you try this, I’m sure that you both will feel better and that after he comes back to you, your relationship will be more stable and healthy.

A little safe distance is what’s often needed to realize what it is that makes your life worth living.

And if it takes this messy breakup for him to realize he can’t afford to lose you, so be it!

You’ve got plenty of time on your hands, and you’re not going anywhere.

If you feel like he’s worth the wait, than do just that and believe that things are happening for a reason, which will soon be clear.

Just because right now it feels like you’re broken and that things aren’t looking up, it doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Patience and faith are the key ingredients for a lifetime of love!

16. Enjoy your free time

woman reading book at home

After you break up with your man, don’t let all your boats sink. Instead, have fun and enjoy your free time.

You are now on your own and you should do all the things that you’ve always wanted but never had time for.

Go hiking, travel, go out with your friends, read a good book, or ride your bike.

Do everything that makes you happy and you’ll feel better because you’ll know that you’re doing something nice for yourself.

In this way, you’ll have enough time to think about your ex and your relationship and all the things you need to work on. And after he spends so much time without you, he’ll start missing you.

If his feelings are strong, he will come back to you just because you left him alone.

But in the interim, you’re going to gain some really in-depth knowledge about yourself and your capabilities.

You’ll realize how strong, self-sufficient, and badass you are on your own.

You’ll find time to spend solely on yourself and your own needs, which is something I’m sure you’ve been neglecting.

It will be good for your soul, your self-growth, and much needed honest-to-God truths.

And the biggest plus is that he’ll realize all of these things too. He’ll come back to a newly-empowered woman who is ready to be loved the way she deserves.

17. Don’t let him see you upset

three females taking selfie

I know that it hurts you because you lost the man you love so much. And I also know that you’re so upset and you want him back. But it’s not good if he sees you like this because that won’t bring him back.

You have the right to be upset, but only when he’s not around. When you are alone at home, you can act like you want, but when you are somewhere in public, try to act as normal as you can.

Even if your world is falling apart, pretend that you are going through the happiest period of your life.

In that way, your ex will see that you’re not desperate,  that you can handle all the consequences of a breakup .

It’ll make him think more about you and, in some cases (if he loves you enough), he will come back to you.

Find comfort in your family and best friends . Speak to them about everything that’s going through your mind.

Cry your eyes out in front of them and bare your soul. That way, once you see him, you’ll be out of tears to cry and things to complain about.

Your soul will feel lighter and your head will be clearer, and this is the version you need to show him.

This version of you – a girl who can pick herself up and put on a brave face when all she wants to do is cry – is what’s going to make him see that you’re a girl like no other.

18. Move on

smiling woman with purple background

I know you don’t want to move on, but at least make it appear that way. It’s funny how your brain can trick itself into actually believing something to be the case.

Your ex will think that you are happy in a new life with someone else and it’ll bug him for a long time.

In the end, when he can’t put up with it any longer, he’ll try to contact you to reunite.

This is always a good way to make him come back to you, because you left him alone and let him think about what he lost when he let you go.

Both of you will get what you want and you’ll be able to start a new chapter of your lives together.

Both of you will realize just how good you are together and how much you missed seeing each other every morning when you wake up.

But luckily, you’ll have all the time in the world to make up for lost time and enjoy each other more than ever.

19. Don’t focus on what you’ve lost

smiling woman in sweater outside

Instead of focusing on the loss, think about the good things that can happen to you once you are no longer in a relationship.

You’ll have enough time to think about the pros and cons of your relationship, and decide if you still want your ex to be a part of your life.

When two people who were together for a long time, spend some time separated, they see some things more clearly.

So, don’t regret anything that happened and know that if you still love your ex and want him, you can get him back into your life again.

It’s always in your head. You choose how to perceive this breakup .

You can focus on an ex boyfriend who’s no longer a part of you and cry yourself to sleep, or you can gain a new perspective that’ll make your life so much more meaningful.

This time apart will end up being the best for the both of you. Why? Because you’ll have time to think about what you mean to each other individually.

You’ll come to realize that he was truly your best friend and you don’t want to leave things so broken.

So you’ll make the best of the situation, work on yourself, and seriously try to fix anything that may need fixing.

This is going to be your second chance at love, and you don’t want to waste it.

Yes, you’ve lost him for now, but you’ve also gained freedom and self-growth.

Use it to your advantage and if he’s worth it, show him how focused you are on what REALLY matters and that things can and will be different this time around.


20. Be honest regarding the breakup

side view silhouette of woman standing outside

This is the last thing that your ex expects you to do, but you should try it because it really works.

If you wish him all the best, he’ll wonder why you’re not sad and if you have someone new in your life.

Because of this action, he’ll respect you more and have second thoughts about your breakup .

After you do this, respect the no contact rule and act like he doesn’t even exist.

Don’t contact him under any circumstances and, by leaving him alone, make him come back to you. He won’t even know why the hell he misses you so much and he’ll crave you more than ever.

That is exactly what will make him go the extra mile for you, so you can expect him to work extra hard to win you back.

When he sees that you’re not stooping so low and you’re not trying to make things appear different than they actually were, he’ll respect you for it.

Honesty is always the best choice in love and life in general. Be yourself, work on your own well-being, and let him come to you if he wants to come back.

He needs to see you’re still the girl he fell in love with, but with a twist. You no longer care for irrelevant, fake ideals.

A ll you want is commitment, and a promise that you will both work on your relationship every day. Things aren’t always going to be perfect, but that’s okay.

For as long as two people keep holding onto each other and choose to never give up on their love, there is hope that things will work out. It’s you two against the world, and never forget that.

Final Thoughts

upset man and woman standing next to each other with crossed arms

So, we’ve discussed some of the most common behaviors you should follow if you want him to come back to you by leaving him alone.

The most important thing is that you respect all the rules and you don’t break them just because of a temporary crisis.

If your ex still loves you and you’ve just had a small fight, I’m sure that you won’t need to make a lot of effort to win him back.

On the other hand, if he’s stopped loving you and already moved on with his life, it might be harder for you to get what you want.

The most important thing is to have dignity while making him come back to you because if he sees that you’re desperate, he won’t be so interested in taking you back.

I know that the last thing you want is to follow some online rules to bring your man back, but advice like this has really helped a lot of people and they can help you too – if you follow them exactly as they are.

For example, you can’t follow the no contact rule only when it’s convenient –  texting your ex every time he texts you – and expect this rule to work. That defeats the objective.

You need to understand that everything you do that doesn’t include these rules might not bring you to the situation you want to be in.

I hope that you won’t be needing these tips, but since I know that every couple has had a big fight at least once in their relationship, I know that many of you will try to find solutions for your problems online.

I hope the things that I wrote will help you bring your ex back. And that you’ll think twice the next time you wish to break up with your loved one.


Category: How to get him back


Clinical Psychologist and Counseling Psychotherapist, Child Psychologist, Relationship Counsellor, Geriatric care, Neuro-Psychologist

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