How to get him back

Top 10 Most Obvious Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You


Recently, you’ve been noticing signs your ex is pretending to be over you, but you don’t want to rush to conclusions? Good, because I’m here to put an end to your second-guessing!

Your relationship seemingly hit its expiration date sometime recently, but you’ve been going back and forth unsure of whether there’s a chance of reconciliation. If there is – you’re about to find out!

If your ex shows any of the following signs, their broken heart is still pining for you! Whether you were the dumper or the dumpee, these signs don’t lie.

Once you take a good look at the following and reevaluate your past relationship, perhaps you’ll realize the old flame still has some fire left.

Here’s proof you’re still on your ex-partner‘s mind, and it’s up to you if you’re in the mood for second chances!


10 Clear Signs Your Ex Still Loves You

1. Your ex can’t keep their eyes off you

man looking at woman with red lipstick

Eye contact can be so intense. Especially when you can literally feel it penetrating your skin. And lately, whenever you’re in close proximity to them, you’ve noticed your ex keeps watching your every move.

It’s a little over the top, but you can’t escape their attention. You’re not sure if your ex is trying to flirt or if they simply want to know what you’re up to.

The reason why this is one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you is that it gives away a non-verbal way of communication that has now gone into overdrive.

Your ex-boyfriend (or ex-girlfriend) is trying so hard to stay in character and pretend they’re over you that it becomes hard to ignore their innermost impulses.

Rarely do people give any thought to what they’re like when they’re ”normal” – aka not anxious.

So when your ex is in a state of denial, they try so hard to mimic their ”normal” behavior that it starts to present a problem.

In other words, your ex is clearly trying to prove something whenever they’re near you, which ends up being counter-productive.

They can’t hide their true feelings, which can be seen as a good sign (especially if you want to get your ex back). This means your ex can’t lie in front of you, which is definitely something I love in a partner.

2. Your ex keeps trying to make you jealous

woman in purple top using phone

Whether it’s posting photos on social media with their new guy/girl, or flaunting their rebound relationship, it’s nothing more than a passive-aggressive move to garner a reaction from you.

After you broke up, you started to notice them parading a new relationship all over their social media platforms with the hashtag #acleanslate – a less than subtle dig at you.

If you’ve got a feeling this is all about you, you’re probably right. But just to be certain, ask mutual friends if the new supposed relationship has any merit or if it’s just a diversion tactic.

If you want to get your ex back, calling them out on their BS is your first move. Make your ex feel sorry for acting in such an immature manner.

If they’re still adamant they want to resume their relationship with you, luring you back with an array of flings isn’t the way to go. Especially if your ex broke up with you!

Only if your ex tries actually texting you, or better yet, resorting to good old phone calls, can you consider giving it another go. But don’t stoop to their level. You’re better than that.

See also: 10 Things To Always Keep In Mind When You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough

3. Your ex is going out of their way to prove they’re over you

three people sitting near water and talking

We all know what it means when someone is trying a bit too hard to prove something to others, right? They’re clearly trying to convince themselves.

Your ex can’t stop thinking about you, so they do everything in their power to convince you how OK they are (which is anything but the case).

Have your mutual friends been teasing them about you since the breakup? If so, what was their reaction?

If they went the extra mile to defend themself against accusations they’re still after you, it’s clearly not the case. The more your ex tries to prove it, the bigger the sign that you’re still on their mind.

Here’s what I’ve learned from relationship experts: The more someone is focused on the one thing they supposedly don’t want, the more obvious it becomes what they truly do want.

Observe your ex’s body language during these situations. If they’re visibly upset, crossing their arms, moving their head erratically, and such, you’re still the one they want.

Whenever someone gives it their all to convince you of something (instead of taking a calm, relaxed approach), the only person they are fooling is themself.

4. Your ex is extra friendly during random meetings

smiling man and woman talking outdoor

The worst thing after a breakup is knowing you’ll just keep bumping into them at your local coffee shops, stores, and everywhere you used to go together.

It’s not like I’m about to uproot my entire life because I broke up with my ex. I still want to go to my favorite bar and hang out at my favorite spots. Why should I change my habits?

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about here. And it just so happens that I run into my ex-boyfriend when I look like I just rolled out of the dumpster not knowing what day it is.

But that’s just life I guess. One day, it won’t be such a big deal. 

But if there’s one thing these chance encounters have made me realize it’s this: If your ex seems super extra considerate upon seeing you, there’s usually a reason.

A) They’re either trying hard to figure out how you are and if you’re in a new relationship so they can gloat if you’re not, or

B) they’re still not over you and they want to find out if you feel the same way.

So next time you go to your favorite coffee shop and run into your ex, pay attention to their demeanor. You’ll be able to tell what the situation is.

Being extra friendly when accidentally seeing you is one of the biggest signs your ex is pretending to be over you. Don’t ignore it.

5. Non-verbal signs will do all the talking

man and woman looking at each other in cafe

I’m certain you’re aware that body language has its way of reacting to your surroundings, whether you notice it or not.

If you doubt your ex is truly over you, here are the biggest non-verbal giveaways:

– Your ex keeps touching their face whenever they’re near you. Either that or licking their lips, touching their nose or playing with a lock of hair. They might even keep compressing their lips. Observe carefully.

– Your ex blinks like crazy and at the same time tries to avoid your gaze.

– One of their legs is always stomping on the floor, they shift on the sofa from one place to another, and their movements are sudden and somewhat erratic.

– Their hand movements are completely repetitive, they keep checking their nails, or even crack their knuckles.

– Your ex tries to prove they don’t care about what you have to say by purposely yawning when you’re talking, or looking around just to make you see they ”don’t care”.

There is an array of signals your ex gives out proving my point, and if you occasionally get to see them face to face, these are the most prominent signs to look for.

Your ex may be pretending to be over you, but their mannerisms tell a whole other story.

See also: What Is True Happiness (And Secrets To Attaining It)

6. Your ex is a bit too happy too soon

woman in gray sweater looking at phone

Remember, it doesn’t take longer than half a minute to locate a hilarious meme and post it on your socials. But does that necessarily mean the person posting it is actually happy? It definitely doesn’t.

Your ex was most likely your best friend, so you’ve got a pretty solid gauge when it comes to assessing their honest state.

This means you can easily see through their deceptive moves and read between the lines. Hiding behind a keyboard is beyond easy.

But being faced with your actual emotions is tough. We all tend to play roles on social media to appear happier and more content than we actually are.

It’s human nature, so don’t worry if that’s the case with you too. All I’m saying is if your ex is acting happy-go-lucky out of the blue, chances are, it’s just a mask.

We can all write deep paragraphs about moving on and send text messages saying we’re totally fine. But in reality, that’s not always the case.

One of the most obvious signs your ex is pretending to be over you is precisely this. Soon after the breakup, they act prematurely happy and try hard to make you see it.

You know them better than most people. And depending on your relationship and what it meant to both of you, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what his happy demeanor actually means.


7. Your ex is online stalking you

man in gray t-shirt using smartphone

This one speaks for itself. Finding out that your ex is engaging in some stalking expeditions paints a pretty clear picture.

It’s up to you how you’ll figure out if this is the case (maybe with the help of your best friend/mutual friends?).

And when you do, it’s truly one of the most obvious signs that your ex still has you on their mind.

Your ex wants to remain indifferent in your eyes, so when you find out their search history has your name on it, you’ve got the power.

For as long as your ex keeps needing to know about your whereabouts, they’re still hooked.

If they were angry, resentful, or something similar, that wouldn’t be a sign of them being stuck on you. 

But trying to keep their obsession with you from family members, friends, and you is one of the biggest signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

Their online presence is still very much attached to you, no matter how hard they try to shake you off.

At the same time, please don’t consider them blocking you or unfriending you as a sign your ex still loves you. This is, in fact, the final step toward closure on their part.

If you’ve been blocked virtually – your ex is successfully moving on. This is about self-preservation, not love. So pay attention and don’t mix the two.

See also: Self-Care Tips: How To Fall In Love With Taking Care Of Yourself

8. Your ex is still holding on to your stuff

man reading book while sitting on bench

Usually, there are two major reasons why an ex is adamant about keeping your stuff:

A) They’re resentful about the way the relationship ended, and they’re not ready to face you and forgive you just yet.

B) Your ex is still not over you and can’t say goodbye to your stuff as it’s the only thing they’ve got left of you.

Now, I’m guessing it would be rather obvious if your ex was angry or resentful, so if you’re sure that’s not the case, let’s safely assume it’s the latter.

If you keep asking for your belongings back but they keep ignoring your request (and you know for a fact they’re not angry with you) it’s one of the signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

They want to keep the door open and let you know (subtly though) that you’re still very much welcome. Both physically and metaphorically.

I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that this is a pretty clear sign that your relationship meant a great deal to them.

Maybe it’s time to forego the no-contact rule and start having a conversation about the future.

They are still pining for you and if you still carry a fraction of the love you used to have, perhaps there’s a chance to work it all out.

Think about it, because getting your ex back might mean a new beginning of an old relationship.

If they’ve improved their ways, this could be the start of something new and improved. Relationship 2.0. 

You be the judge of how wise or unwise this is!

9. Your ex is asking your mutual friends about you

people sitting on beach lounge in front fire pit

This is your safest way to get your ex back. The more they talk you up or the more they act kindly upon finding out nice stuff about you, the higher the regard they hold you in.

Look at it this way. If your ex didn’t care, they wouldn’t be asking around about how you’re doing, right? 

When a person has zero interest in you, they don’t bother others with constant questions about you. They just can’t be bothered.

Find out if it was just a one-time thing though or if asking about you has become their habit. You probably already know which of these is a good sign.

The more curious they are, the more they’re still in love with you. This can be mixed with a dose of jealousy as well. And you know what they say – if they’re jealous, it means they care!

Your ex will ask questions along the lines of these if they’re a bit on the jealous side:

– Is he/she seeing somebody new? How long has it been going on?

– Where is he/she at this very moment?

– Who’s that new guy/girl I saw her with a few days ago?

– Why did he/she suddenly start going to the gym? Is it to impress someone new?

You get the gist. You have two options. Face your ex and tell them not to bother your friends anymore or ask them directly why the sudden barrage of questions.

If they’re having second thoughts about the breakup, offer to discuss it, and see where it goes.

10. Your ex has started texting you incessantly

man in black t-shirt using phone

Talking about signs your ex is pretending to be over you, this is your one, true giveaway. 

Look at it from your point of view. You’re always texting the people you most want to talk to right? You can’t be bothered sending a text message to someone you don’t really care about.

If your ex is always shooting your texts, sending funny memes, and perhaps even calling you, it’s pretty clear you’re on their mind more than you should be.

Your ex wouldn’t feel the need to be in constant communication with you if they didn’t still have feelings for you.

You can definitely take this as a good sign that your ex-girlfriend (or ex-boyfriend) is trying to let you know what a mistake letting you go was.

They still crave your voice, your touch, and your funny one-liners. They still deem you the person to go to for everything as you’re the only one who was ever truly there for them.

They’ve realized that you mean way too much, and the constant barrage of texts is their way of showing remorse. 

Is it too late though?


How are you going to approach this?

woman sitting by window looking outside

My advice is to let them do the talking and see how much they truly still care. These are the clear-as-day signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

And if there’s a chance they might get you back, give them a hint. Just enough to keep them guessing.

But most definitely don’t budge just like that. Your ex needs to learn their lesson. They cannot just disappear from your life, then win you over once they see how empty life is without you.

Keep your ex on their toes by being vague (but not in a harsh way). Now, you have the power. And it’s one hundred percent up to you whether you take your ex back or not.

It’s clear where they stand. They can pretend all they want – it won’t work. You know them way too intimately to be fooled.

If you feel there’s a possibility of reigniting the old flame, throw them a bone. But if you are done with that chapter of your life – good riddance.

Don’t uproot your life over an ex who realized too late what a treasure you are. 

You’re too busy building a new life, and rekindling broken romances is the last thing on your mind. Now, it’s time to experience the magic of new beginnings!



Category: How to get him back


Clinical Psychologist and Counseling Psychotherapist, Child Psychologist, Relationship Counsellor, Geriatric care, Neuro-Psychologist

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button