Getting over him

Don’t Be Afraid Of Losing Someone Who Doesn’t Feel Lucky To Have You


He didn’t even notice that you look amazing today. He didn’t notice that you are all dressed up, wearing light makeup and high heels.

He didn’t tell you that you are beautiful, even if that is all you wanted to hear from him.

With him, you no longer feel noticed or wanted. And whatever you do to make him see that, he is just blind.

He never said thank you: “Thank you for making that delicious meal. Thank you for folding my socks.

Thank you for tolerating my bad moods. Thank you for being thoughtful and getting me the thing I wanted even if it’s not my birthday.

Thank you for the efforts you make every day.”

He takes for granted everything you do. He’s always had your undivided attention. You’ve always been there when he needed you.

He never notices that you are going the extra mile to make him happy. He never sees all those little things you do for him.

He’s had it all in you – a loyal friend and a passionate lover – and somehow it wasn’t enough.

He’s clueless that you have eyes only for him. That those eyes light up every time he is around.

That he is your entire universe and that you don’t need anybody else.

He doesn’t notice your silence.

He doesn’t see that your eyes are teary and he never questions whether it’s something that he is doing or not doing that’s causing those tears.

He doesn’t care how sad and upset you will be when he cancels plans the last minute.

He doesn’t mind tearing the bits of your hearts with short, slapdash replies to your paragraph-long text.

He calls you clingy and needy whenever you say that you need more of his time, attention, or affection.

He acts like you want something out of this world when all you want are simple things: a portion of his time, kisses and cuddles, an ear that listens, and a heart that beats only for you.

What are you so afraid of? You can’t lose him because he’s never been completely there.

You have always been the one who was all in and he has always held one foot out of the door.

Can’t you see that you are the one who has made efforts, understood, and loved for the both of you?

If you are not already tired of not being noticed and appreciated, you will be soon enough. He will kill your emotions with his neglect.

Can’t you see that he doesn’t deserve you?

He should be jumping up and down from happiness because you are a part of his life. He should feel lucky to have you.

He should be thanking the heavens because he is loved by you.

He should… but he doesn’t know what he has.

So, don’t be afraid of losing him because you are not the one who will suffer the loss – he will.

Don’t be afraid because he is not the man you are supposed to end up with.

He is just a chapter in your life and he won’t be able to see how your story ends.

He is just a man who will realize what he had once you are with your forever person and wish he was the one next to you.


Category: Getting over him

Roberta Carroll

My approach is eclectic and holistic with a focus on mindfulness. I have received certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy (trauma), among others. I spent over 10 years at the Veteran’s Administration in Louisville, KY, working as a psychotherapist with veterans of all ages and genders on a wide variety of issues. Prior to that my focus was on young adults and their families and older adults dealing with loss. Individuals have met with me for help to address depression and anxiety, grief, trauma and relational issues as well as work-related/everyday stressors. The therapeutic process provides a safe place for the client, in collaboration with their therapist, to process distress, discover areas of “stuckness” and move forward into a life of increased meaning and joy. Accepting our imperfections and practicing self-compassion can be a difficult as well as rewarding process. I have lived and worked in different areas of the country, have come to understand how regional differences affect our outlooks and appreciate the contrasts. I have relished the opportunity to assist clients as they carry the burdens of life. It would be my privilege to hear your story.

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