Getting over him

How To Unlove Someone (A Step By Step Guide)


How to unlove someone in the shortest time possible and with minimum effort?

How to break free from the shackles of the past, heal your heart in the present, and prepare for the future?

Do you truly love someone you just broke up with? Are you trying to unlove them? Does it seem like mission impossible? Breaking news: it’s not. Believe it or not, it is possible to unlove someone!

Of course, if it was true love, it’ll never go away. But since you’ve broken up with them, the chances that it’s true love are extremely low.

And since it’s not true love, it means it’s not meant to be and, therefore, it can go away!

If this doesn’t apply to you and you’re certain you two are meant to be and want him back: CLICK HERE.

Letting go of someone you still love is not an easy thing to do, but it is essential for your well-being.

Remember that the worst thing that could happen to you is being stuck forever in the realm of unrequited love, wasting your time thinking about someone with whom you’re just not meant to be.

Now, I will not lie to you. It will not be easy, but if you stay determined and if you continue following the steps below and making an effort no matter what, you will succeed in speeding that process up!

By following the steps below, the healing time will fly right before your eyes.

In a short time, you’ll find yourself free from this love, and you will be ready for a new relationship; you will be ready to love someone else – the right one for you!

Don’t put too much effort into forgetting them

woman reading book while leaning on tree

In fact, don’t even focus on the thought of forgetting them at all. Distract yourself with something else.

Focus on yourself and your work or school. Try accomplishing as much as possible in other areas of your life, and you’ll forget about your love life in a second.

If you focus on unloving them, you’ll end up thinking about them all the time, and that is not a good path to walk on.

You have to focus on your own life, not the life of someone you’re trying to forget. The more resistance you show, the harder it will be to move on.

Breaking up and moving on is not about putting too much effort into forgetting them.

It’s about distracting yourself and putting a lot of effort in doing things that fulfil you.

If you want to unlove someone, you need to stop thinking about the question: “How to stop loving someone?” and focus on things that make you feel good about yourself!


Fall in love with SOMETHING else

woman painting at home

The worst thing you can do after a break-up is to get involved with another person.

You’ll end up comparing that new guy/girl to your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Your wounds will never heal that way.

It would be torture trying to have a good time with someone and still remembering the good times you used to have with someone else.

Rebound relationships are a dead-end street, and you should definitely stay away from entering them.

Don’t waste your time thinking that if you fall in love with someone else, you will forget your ex!

Instead, be free to fall in love with something else. The best way to unlove someone is to express that love toward something completely different.

Whether it’s your job, a hobby, or some old passion of yours you completely forgot about.

Simply choose to do something you love, and you’ll end up focusing only on that. Ex who?

Disconnect from them

girl typing a phone outside

Feel free to unfollow them on any social media. It’s not a childish act; it’s an act of a grown man/woman who knows that there is a bit of truth in the old saying: ‘Far from the eyes, far from the heart’.

You don’t have to be tempted to watch their Instagram stories a couple of times a day.

You don’t need to know what they’re doing or where they’re going. It’s okay to act like they don’t even exist for a while.In order to unlove someone, you must first forget about them.

It wouldn’t be like they had never even been a part of your life; it would be more like they’d been a part of your life which that happened so long ago that you barely remember your gifts for Valentine’s day or your first date, let alone something else.

Spend time with yourself

fitness woman sitting beside weights in gym

Now that you’re not in a relationship anymore, you have much more free time.

What you choose to do with that time could benefit you in many ways. You can now focus on self-growth. And booty growth as well!

Hit the gym! Make your body healthy and your muscles stronger. Or, in case you don’t like going to the gym, you can always spend some time in nature.

Go hiking, biking, skiing… There are many activities you can do that benefit your health.

Don’t take it for granted. I understand that it’s hard to activate yourself when you’re feeling tired of everything, but you owe it to yourself. Your health should always be your number one priority!

So, it’s time to stop thinking about that one person and start a healthier lifestyle full of hobbies you enjoy doing.

Once you remind yourself how much you love life and once you boost your self-esteem, you’ll know how to unlove anything else that doesn’t benefit you in any way!


Spend time with your friends and family

family having garden dinner

Your friends can join you at the gym. Or you could take a trip with your family.

Reconnect with other people from your life through different activities.

This way, you will be able to focus on things that are really meaningful to you, and this will help you forget about your unrequited feelings.

The love you have left to give, give to your friends and family, to those who are always by your side.

They deserve that kind of love, and you deserve to let it out of your system.

It’s better to focus on loving your best friends or family members instead of loving some random guy who’s not worthy of your love.

The process of unloving someone results in loving everything else that has a part in your life, starting with yourself, your interests, and your family.

Don’t ever take these things for granted. Even when you find a new love, don’t immediately put him as your priority. He needs to find a way to climb up that list!

Don’t think about love

smiling woman looking up

Don’t think about your love life. Don’t think about your future husband/wife and how many kids you’ll have with them.

Don’t imagine what your life is going to be like. Don’t think that the new person will be worse than the person you’ve broken up with.

Leave those thoughts to your future self! All you need to do right now is focus on loving yourself and the things mentioned in the second step.

Also, besides focusing on your health in general, you need to spend some time working on your mental health.

Put some healthy thoughts about life in your mind and try living up to them.

If you are mentally healthy, that means you are aware of everything that’s happening in your life and that you are able to control your emotions.

After becoming that, any process of loving and unloving or expressing any kind of emotion won’t be that hard.

Take some time to think about your relationship

closeup thoughtful woman standing outside

After you have taken some time not to think about it, you need to take the time to face it. Face the fact that you’ve been in a relationship.

You are now single. Now that you partially stopped loving someone, it’s time to figure out why.Why did you stop loving them? Was it love at all?

What were the problems in your relationship? Who initialized the break-up? What kind of problems did you face in your relationship?

When you find the answers to all these questions, you’ll be able to completely move on (unfortunately, I realized this one too late).

Consider this some kind of heart-cleansing. If you want to totally unlove someone, you should remember why you started loving them and why you want to unlove them.

Accept it

portrait of smiling woman leaning on hands

You are single now. You are who you are. You love what you love. Accept your life the way it is.

Self-acceptance is important in order to live your life to the fullest.

By accepting yourself the way you are, you will be easier for others to love, and the future of your love life won’t be that dark after all.

Making yourself feel bad about things that happen to you won’t make you lovable; it’ll only make you less attractive.

The most attractive thing about a girl is her smile, so use any excuse possible to put one on your face. And once you face these things, your life will be easier to handle.

Remember that you are the only person who can help you, and loving yourself is something you should focus on because it can make a big difference in the process of healing!


female friends cheering drinks

If you’ve done all of the steps so far—congrats, you’re almost over your ex! Of course, there has to be one little spark left inside your heart, but it won’t be a problem once you start dating again.

Go out. Spend some time with your friends. Have fun. Meet new people.

Once you meet someone new, you’ll start developing feelings toward that person, and the spark that was still burning for your ex will be put out forever.

But be careful! Don’t settle for the first guy/girl you meet. It takes time to truly meet someone, so don’t rush into anything. Explore the dating scene, have fun and above all, be patient.

The right one will come to you when you least expect it. The right one will come to you because you deserve it!

Don’t worry, destiny has perfect timing. Falling in love is easier than falling out of love, so it’ll take you less time to meet someone new and fall in love again than to unlove someone.

Talk to a therapist

man talking to therapist

If all else fails, you can always go and talk to a professional. Don’t be ashamed of that. It’s a shame not to admit when you need help.You have to be able to understand your feelings and your needs.

Maybe you not getting over them is a problem that has deeper roots, and talking to a therapist will help you dig deeper into the past of your emotions.

Maybe you have some issues you didn’t even know about or it is possible that you’re still hurt from some childhood trauma you had. Or it could be that you have abandonment issues.

Anyway, it is good to talk to someone simply to check on yourself and to ask for helpful advice. It won’t do you harm. It could only benefit you and speed up your recovery process.

Final Thoughts

relaxing man sitting beside window and looking out

Congratulations! You’ve come to the end of your healing path. You now know how to unlove someone! You are ready to fill your heart with new excitement and happiness.

You can conquer every aspect of your life. You can face every situation that comes before you. You are stronger than ever!

Don’t let anyone ruin what you’ve just built. Be your own rock, and always remember to love yourself first. Take care of your health and your emotions.

Don’t ever be harsh on yourself. You are only human, and you don’t heal as easily as you’d like.

The key to loving and unloving someone is understanding your emotions.

Always be prepared to cope with them. Respect your emotions and they will respect you. As long as you don’t let them overrule you, you’ll be fine.

And remember: nothing is as attractive as a smile on your face!


Category: Getting over him

Roberta Carroll

My approach is eclectic and holistic with a focus on mindfulness. I have received certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy (trauma), among others. I spent over 10 years at the Veteran’s Administration in Louisville, KY, working as a psychotherapist with veterans of all ages and genders on a wide variety of issues. Prior to that my focus was on young adults and their families and older adults dealing with loss. Individuals have met with me for help to address depression and anxiety, grief, trauma and relational issues as well as work-related/everyday stressors. The therapeutic process provides a safe place for the client, in collaboration with their therapist, to process distress, discover areas of “stuckness” and move forward into a life of increased meaning and joy. Accepting our imperfections and practicing self-compassion can be a difficult as well as rewarding process. I have lived and worked in different areas of the country, have come to understand how regional differences affect our outlooks and appreciate the contrasts. I have relished the opportunity to assist clients as they carry the burdens of life. It would be my privilege to hear your story.

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