Getting over him

For Every Girl Who Thinks She Can’t Stop Loving The Wrong Guy


Hey, you! I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel right now.

I know that you feel like you’ve lost yourself to heartbreak and that you are fighting hard to not dwell on your pain.

I know that you are struggling with all of your power to forget the man who has done you harm and to shut down all of the feelings you still have for him.

But somehow, this isn’t happening.

I know because I was you. I was also someone who loved the wrong man, even though it was the last thing he deserved.

I know that you are aware of all of this guy’s flaws. You are aware that he has caused you great emotional pain and that he is not the man you should be giving your love to.

sad woman staring at one point

The truth is that you have a huge heart and that you believe in everlasting love. You swore to this man that you’d love him forever, no matter what.

And you are still keeping your promise, even though he didn’t do the same.

But sometimes, you wonder if you are crazy. How is it possible to love someone who has done you so much harm?

How is it possible to love the man who emotionally neglected and abused you?

How is it possible that you still have strong feelings for someone who never loved you the way he should?

Sometimes, you ask yourself what more this man has to do to you for him to finally kill all your love for him.

young woman crying on the couch

Wasn’t everything he put you through more than enough for you to get him out of your head and out of your heart?

Sometimes, you feel guilty for still loving and missing him. You blame yourself for not being strong enough to get over him and to move on with your life, the same way he did.

You think that this emotional pain is exclusively your fault because you are the one who is still holding on to the man who caused you to feel this way.

And then, there are days when you are convinced that you’ll spend the rest of your life craving this guy.

When you think of all the ways he crippled you emotionally and when you are sure that you’ll never be capable of loving someone else as much as you loved him.

I know that things aren’t looking good right now. I know that you can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel that you so desperately seek.

sad woman sitting on the couch

But let me tell you just one thing—you will stop loving him, sooner or later. You probably don’t believe me now but this man will become just a part of your past.

One day, he will be just a distant memory. And that day is about to come sooner than you expect.

I am not here to give you any false hope but when that day finally comes, you won’t be able to believe that you cried this many tears for someone who was never worthy of your energy or time.

You won’t be able to believe that once you were convinced you would spend eternity suffering for someone who was never worthy of you.

Trust me—the pain you are feeling now is only temporary. You feel this way because you are processing everything that went on and because you are grieving your loss.

But all of this will go away once you understand that some things and some people are simply not meant to be.

sad woman looking at camera

All of this pain will be history once you realize that everything happens for a reason and for a bigger cause.

One day, you’ll accept the fact that this man is no longer a part of your life.

And the best part is that you’ll realize that losing this guy was the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

Trust me— you will heal when you least expect it.

All the love you are feeling for this man will disappear together with the pain that is consuming you right now.

You just have to be patient and have faith in yourself.


Category: Getting over him

Roberta Carroll

My approach is eclectic and holistic with a focus on mindfulness. I have received certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy (trauma), among others. I spent over 10 years at the Veteran’s Administration in Louisville, KY, working as a psychotherapist with veterans of all ages and genders on a wide variety of issues. Prior to that my focus was on young adults and their families and older adults dealing with loss. Individuals have met with me for help to address depression and anxiety, grief, trauma and relational issues as well as work-related/everyday stressors. The therapeutic process provides a safe place for the client, in collaboration with their therapist, to process distress, discover areas of “stuckness” and move forward into a life of increased meaning and joy. Accepting our imperfections and practicing self-compassion can be a difficult as well as rewarding process. I have lived and worked in different areas of the country, have come to understand how regional differences affect our outlooks and appreciate the contrasts. I have relished the opportunity to assist clients as they carry the burdens of life. It would be my privilege to hear your story.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button