Getting over him

Every Woman Has That One Person That She’ll Never Lose Feelings For


There is always that one person. It might be cliché, but it’s still true.

They were once a big part of your life and now they’re nothing but a memory.

There’s always that one relationship. Lingering in our minds. Even when it’s long gone.

curly blonde haired woman near the group of lights at the left side

People come and go from your life, but after him, you felt an enormous absence. Him leaving, has changed you.

You don’t know what it is about him. He just seems to somehow surface from the back of your mind and haunt you from time to time.

It’s not that you fantasize about him daily. The memories of him just emerge on their own.

woman on rock platform viewing the city

Whatever the trigger is, you’re still not sure what’s so special about him.

To be precise, you’re not even sure if you find those memories enjoyable.

But you can still recall the way he moves. How he smells. The way he smiles.

How he walks. The way his eyes would focus when he talked with passion.

man standing on tree branch during sunset

You can recall the days when the only thing you thought about was seeing his face after a long day.

Him holding your face and kissing you like there’s no one around.

You can recall the days you spent together happy and careless. Days when you lived clueless of what’s going to happen next.

But those days are gone.

alone autumn mood forest with man in the middle on foggy day

A small part of you would be terrified if you were ever to look him in the eyes again. Terrified because it would be too familiar.

A small part of you. The rest of you had moved on.

The rest of you can’t fall for the mere illusion. Not anymore.

two women sitting on top of the vehicle roof

You got tired by putting yourself out there and trying to show you’re good enough.

You stopped believing there’s someone else who can save you.

Now you know better. In the meantime, you’ve got to pick yourself up and build yourself again.

woman raising both hands in the air facing a very white light and clouds

You worked so hard to be the woman you are today. That’s exactly why you deserve more than a man who couldn’t give you what you needed.

You weren’t made for someday and love that waits. You weren’t made for promises that never came true, waiting in silence, and feeling alone.

You’re made for things that last. You’re made love that doesn’t run away. The stuff they write poems about.

poem written on book entitled internal bleeding

That’s why you let go.

You remember the moments when you missed him so much it physically hurt.

You remember crying yourself to sleep, thinking you’ll never be good enough.

You still miss him sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you want him back in your life.

woman thinking in white top near a white wall

You learned your lesson.

You learned you can do things on your own. You can count on yourself.

It’s nice to have someone to hold you, but it’s better to always feel safe within yourself.

woman wears make up in formal dress leaning on her wrist

He had his chance and he blew it.

You know that his heart will always be part of yours, but he will never be part of your life and you’re at peace with it.

Every heartbreak is a sign we let go of one part of ourselves. One part we willingly gave to another person.

dawn sunset beach woman spreading her arms in silhouette

Still, that doesn’t mean we’re lacking. When we give in love, we stay in love.

Be proud of yourself for fighting for yourself and making your life into something you’re proud of.

Be proud of yourself for not blaming other people for things that happened to you.

woman in blue dress facing the big mirror

Be proud of learning from your best and worst experiences.

Let yourself reach the best version of yourself through living life authentically.

Living authentically means listening to your own needs and putting them first.

woman kicks water in backlit during dawn/dusk

That’s not selfish but natural. How else would we be able to give to others?

If love has taught you anything, it’s that you can give and never run dry.

You can get tired, but love isn’t expendable. And neither are you.

woman wearing blue suit pointing her finger

So, share yourself with one who’s deserving of your love and beauty.

Walk through life proudly knowing that everything you’ve done, you’ve done with love.

Be proud of growing stronger from every lesson life has put in front of you and always learning you’re enough as you are on your own.


Category: Getting over him

Roberta Carroll

My approach is eclectic and holistic with a focus on mindfulness. I have received certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive Processing Therapy (trauma), among others. I spent over 10 years at the Veteran’s Administration in Louisville, KY, working as a psychotherapist with veterans of all ages and genders on a wide variety of issues. Prior to that my focus was on young adults and their families and older adults dealing with loss. Individuals have met with me for help to address depression and anxiety, grief, trauma and relational issues as well as work-related/everyday stressors. The therapeutic process provides a safe place for the client, in collaboration with their therapist, to process distress, discover areas of “stuckness” and move forward into a life of increased meaning and joy. Accepting our imperfections and practicing self-compassion can be a difficult as well as rewarding process. I have lived and worked in different areas of the country, have come to understand how regional differences affect our outlooks and appreciate the contrasts. I have relished the opportunity to assist clients as they carry the burdens of life. It would be my privilege to hear your story.

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